Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What then, and what now?

So my son has officially graduated to becoming a Toddler, the questions I often ponder - what then, what now, and what next?

In retrospect, the year with Baby Kai has been full of ups and downs. More ups than downs, but there were the Downs nonetheless. I'd be lying if I said it was all rosy like in the photos. The downs are what other parents won't admit - he's a fussy eater, I'm struggling with his lack of sleep, he's throwing tantrums and it's hard to get through a decent meal with him, he's demanding to sleep with us at night so whatever happened to that dream designer nursery? Heave a sigh of relief - you are not alone on that.

I used to feel mighty accomplished and competent at work - make sure IV lines are running, medications are administered, appointments are arranged, admissions & discharges done... Everything goes on like clockwork before the end of my shift.
However, on days when I'm home with my Terror Tod, I'd just be glad if I could take a shower and brush my teeth within the same toilet trip.

And to parents with tall orders for bringing up their children - Good luck with your rules.
You must've known or heard at least one such parent in your life - "I'm never gonna let my baby suck the pacifier", "my baby can only sleep on her own bed", "my child will have to sit still and endure our adult dinners if he has to come out with us" ... yadayada.

One day, you're just gonna throw these golden rules out the window and do whatever it takes.
Sure, Andy & I made all those "golden rules" before, but now, they've gone out the windows and we just have to play by ear.
With some common sense and lots of love (and what little I learned in Psychology in school), we just let Baby Kai do what he wants, as long as it doesn't compromise his well-being and safety, there is no malicious intent, and makes him happy. When he is happy, he is cooperative and we are happy. Therefore, this equation works fine in our household.

Now, I don't even bother advising Tall Order Parents & friends anymore. Because my advice is - there is no advice. Just go with the flow and follow your instincts that you want the best for your child.
Whatever it takes, mate.


  1. Yeah there are definitely downs in child rearing.
    Sunshine refuses to tell that she wants to go toilet even though she can speak so fluently. Chubbs is so clingy to me and cries a lot.

    No one will see the downs in pictures but the downs are what brings us from one happy picture to the next. :)

    (I just typed this comment twice.. the first one got wiped up by blogger!)

  2. Hey Jo, long time no see. Wassup with you & family? How come you guys upped and moved frm WA to Tasmania??

    Is everything OK? Im so busy lately w work, school and Adam. hardly can catch up w you anymore. And I guess you r busy too, one blog entry in a long long time.

    Let me know how u r getting on ya?
    Love, V


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