My 3yr old is the ultimate birth control. Here's how.
It was a typical
Sunday dinner with my in-laws. When the dishes started arriving at the
table,
Adam: Mummy I want milk.
Me: The food is here baby. We're having
dinner.
Adam: (
whines) But I want milk.... I want nan nan!!
Me: I didn't
bring your nan nan out. You can drink when we get home after we finish dinner
Ok?? (
I start dishing up food for him into his bowl)
Adam: (
face crumbles and
starts wailing) I WANT NAN NAN! WAHHHHHH!!!!! I WANT TO DRINK NAN NAN!
WAHHHHHH!!!!
At this critical point, the baby starts wailing in the pram
as well, demanding a milk feed.
We were The Family with 2 Wailing
Kids.
On a separate time, as we were preparing to go to my Mum's one day,
I told Adam he could pick out a toy to bring there.
He stood in his Play room
for a grand total of 15 minutes and could not decide which would be the lucky
toy. Everyone was waiting for him at the door - the helper carrying bags, Andy carrying Ashton. I was getting impatient.
Me: Adam hurry
up, just pick a toy.
Adam: I dont know which one.
Me: Ok let me help you.
How about your aeroplane?
Adam: Nooooo...... Put it backkkkk......
Me: Ok
then you can bring the helicopter (
takes helicopter).
Adam: Noooooo I don't
want helicopter.......
Me: so what do you want?? Your Tonka trucks?
Adam:
Don't wannnnnnn...... (
starts stamping feet).
Me: Ok then we don't have to
bring any toy there if you dont want to. Come let's go.
Adam: Uhhhhhhh I WANT
to bringggggg.....
Me: (
raises my voice) Then just pick a toy! Hurry up Adam.
We need to go. Or you can jolly well stay home with Aunty Dwi and we are leaving
without you.
By the time I finished my sentence, Adam collapsed to the
floor bawling, although I should be the one collapsing to the ground in
exasperation instead.
Seriously, my child is the ultimate birth control.
Just looking at him is enough to make any man shrivel up.
There could be
a correlation why our direct neighbors are childless, or why my good brother,
who offers to babysit him when we are at my Mum's, disappears quietly to his own
room after 10 minutes.
For all you know, he could even be one of the contributing
factors to our nation's declining birth rate.
If you are considering
whether or not to have children, I highly recommend you to spend some time with
mine.