Thursday, May 3, 2012

Maid or no maid?

When we found out about my pregnancy, Andy & I have discussed endlessly about the care arrangement of our kids.
With Adam already in full day childcare, we have the following options:
- Hiring a maid
- Me quitting my job to be a SAHM
- His mom will help with the baby while Adam is in school (this is my last option and if I can help it I wont wanna consider it)

Initially, Andy was quite against the idea of having a stranger live with us and suddenly there will be an "extra" mouth that we have to feed whom we are not even related to. It makes sense, because since we shifted to our own place, we have valued our privacy, and considering the only times we spend at home are to sleep (other than weekends). With us not at home 90% of the time, it really doesn't sound safe to entrust a whole new stranger to the care of our infant.
We've all heard of horror maid stories. It's not that there are no good maids around, but these competent and reliable helpers are few and far between. Besides, do I really want my child to be mothered by a stranger? I already feel bad enough that my MIL is Adam's "go to" person when the school calls up to say he's sick/ etc etc.

Therefore, Andy has suggested to me that I can be a SAHM if I want to.
My only memories of being a SAHM were during my maternity leave with Adam, which was 3 years ago. Other than that, I was a SAHM after I resigned from my job and stopped work for a few months mainly to oversee the renovation of our new home and running errands because Andy couldn't get away from work. That's it. I claim no credit in being the true SAHM that some of my friends are.

I'm lucky that Andy allows me to choose what kind of mom I wanna be, a working mom or a stay-home mom. In Singapore, with the standards of living sky high, most couples do not have the option to stop working. Throw in a car, house loan and monthly expenses, many couples don't even want to have children! Those people we know with kids have to solely rely on childcare centres or their parents.
It is really not easy.
As such, I am grateful that my husband is kind enough to shoulder all the financial burden and let me decide what I wanna do. Afterall, we are talking about his offspring as well, not just mine.

Right now the question I've repeatedly asked myself these few months - Maid or no maid? Can I stand up to the chores and expectations of being a SAHM??


  1. i grew up with maid all my life and yes, 40% of the maids we ended up with are those "horror" maids, stealing, sleeping with guys etc

    i don't like the idea of my child being closer to my maid than me so if given the luxury, i will be a full time mum ! haha. ok, perhaps that's cause i haven gotten a child yet.

    but you can cheat a little, by getting part time helper to come in and help if those chores which are more challenging haha

    1. Hi Serene, right now we have a PT helper coming in every week to help us whip the whole apartment into place. Really thankful to her beyond words! Im not really a fan of scrubbing & cleaning -__-

    2. thats good! my husband refused to get a PT helper, even when my helper at my mum's place offered enthusiastically! haha

    3. You lucky girl !! I'm sure when the time comes for u to have kids u will have no lack of people caring for him/her ;D
      By then yr hubs sure relent unless he wants to take over the chores & diapering! Lol


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