A Sunday with my boys: Mid-Autumn festival celebration.

Happy Sunday everyone! I spent my weekend with my boys, and you'll be surprised to find out my 29-yr-old keeps me on my toes as much as my 3-year-old. I'm the go-to person in the entire household, ranging from milk demands to asking where are the [insert objects] kept.

My life after confinement has been a little (very) crazy. On the first night that Adam came home to sleep, I ended up shuttling between his room and my master bedroom.
I must've woke up about 700 times that night, from breastfeeding to changing diapers, to changing clothes for Adam who wet his bed, and then trying to put them all back down to sleep again.
I was so tired that I didn't even have the energy to change Adam's sheets. Guess what? I laid a towel on the urinated patch and urged him to go back to bed.
By daybreak, our sleeping arrangement became like this - Adam & I on his bed, the baby on a mattress on the floor.
And I wonder why I'm perpetually tired?

I'm so glad it's the weekend because I promised Adam that I can finally bring him out!
Here're some photos from our Sunday

Going out for Lunchie with my lovely boys.

You have no idea how glad I am to be able to step out of the house!

My yellow fellows

By the way I found a CUTE thermal bag by SKIPHOP to store my Breast pump essentials.

So love!!

In the evening we went to our estate's Mid-Autumn Festival celebration. We got goodie bags, lucky draw (didn't win), mooncakes and lanterns! Adam had fun running around and playing with candles.

 I swear I live in the most happening estate in Singapore. Every occasion also got events one!
Ok I'm going to bed. One whole month of being cooped up at home leaves me with many errands to run next week. I'm contemplating buying a baby carrier so I can go out with Ashton hands-free to run my errands.

Happy Full month Ashton!

Ashton celebrated his Full month on Friday 21.09.2012. As a rite of passage, he shaved his hair and eyebrows then offered prayers to our ancestors.

With my Aunty LY.

The staff from Hua Xia came to shave his hair which will be made into a caligraphy brush.



Fourth generation!

Do watch this space, I'll be sharing his Full Month shower planning in a seperate post. Happy Full month, Ashton baby dearest! and Happy weekend all!

Postpartum issue: Losing that baby fat

Hi everyone! Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement left under my blog comments and Facebook PMs. I'm really touched that there are people out there who actually do enjoy reading my posts and leave happy wishes for my family & I, as much as I enjoy writing about my (boring) life.

As I tend to write about the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly side of Motherhood - I would like to share with my Mummy / Mum-to-be/ trying-to-conceive friends and readers about a topic that concerns postpartum women most: losing the baby weight.

My good husband recently did a search online and engaged for me a Malay makcik (aunty) for Postnatal massage. For my first birth, I did not engage any massage lady because I had a Csect and was scared of the pain and also mainly because I lost all my baby weight by the time Adam was 1 month old. I had put on 10kg for the entire pregnancy.
Ironically, I only put on 9kg throughout my second pregnancy, but somehow I seem to have alot of loose flabs around my tummy, arms and hips.
I was 26 when I first became a Mum. Now, I'm 29. Old already!!

Some women are lucky, some women need some help.
This time round I belong to the latter.
So anyway, Hubby got me a massage lady, and I did my 1st session of Postnatal massage today by Mdm Mas and all was good.
To make small talk, I asked her what are the benefits of Postnatal massage, and she told me the following points:
- Lymphatic drainage
- Helps blood circulation
- Relaxation
- Push uterus back into shape
- Helps flush out "dirty" blood
- Breast massage to unblock clogged ducts (my BM flowed freely after this and my supply increased. This really works.)
- and of course, regain pre-pregnancy figure!!

She concluded the session by doing a cloth wrap for me which I kept on for 12 hours.

Layer after layer after layer of cloth! I could really feel the tightening feeling, the kind when you try to squeeze into undersized jeans and almost cannot breathe after a buffet. Yeap those kinda feeling x 12hours, and due to the humidity in Singapore, I kept sweating, and I HATE to sweat. But I endured. No pain, no gain and I knew the end result must be worth it!

12 hours later, I peeled off the layer after layer of binding to reveal this...


This is after just ONE session. There you are, my first virgin Postnatal massage session.
I still have some bulge on my tummy but I can see it's really flattened significantly. *happy chicken dance*

Things to prepare for Postnatal massage:
- a mattress (any kind will do, even a yoga mat. If you are worried of breast pain when lying face-down, you can cushion with a pillow)
- 2 towels
- a box of tissue paper

Mdm Mas' charges: $50 per session, regardless of how many sessions. She doesn't sell her services by package so you can pay per session, and can determine how many sessions you want, it's entirely up to you. I know she is one of the cheapest Makciks around. Most charge $500 for 7-8 sessions.
She is non-pushy and she uses a traditional home-blend massage oil which has no smell and not too oily.

Tips for Mummies engaging Postnatal massage: bathe before your massage session because you will have to endure the wrap.
Also, best is to arrange your massage session in the afternoon or as her last client, so that you can go to bed with the binder on (ladies doing confinement can only bathe ONCE a day or wipe their bodies so imagine if your appointment is first thing in the morning then you will be sticky and sweaty all day)
To see faster results, use a girdle after you remove the wrap. Buy your girdle one size smaller instead of just-fitting size because when you have lost some weight you don't want the girdle to be too loose.


Ok, that's all. It's 12am now and I'm seeing stars. I hope you found the post useful. Good night!

Big brother, little brother.

I told Adam not to be rowdy around the sleeping baby but he wouldn't listen.
As punishment, he's been made to cajole a wailing Ashton.
He tried patting him, didn't work, so he leaned forward to plant a sloppy kiss on his little brother.
Ashton looks peeved and ready to box Adam with his smelly mittens!

I swear when he's not being naughty (rarely), Adam is such a sweetheart.
He is so protective of his lil brother, which really melts me much.
I never expected such displays of affection from my child, but now I know we need to give our children more credit than they are due.
Adam, your Mama is so proud of you!

Maids Salary review

" By Amelia Tan

Hiring an Indonesian maid will be more expensive by year's end.

Employers hiring such maids from November will have to sign a contract with a clause stipulating that the maid must be paid at least $450.

Another clause will state that if she works on all her four weekly rest days each month, she has to be paid another $70, or $17.50 for each day off she works.

These two clauses will be in the contracts issued by the Indonesian government. But how far they will go to ensure Indonesian maids are compensated fairly depends on the rigour of enforcement - and the Indonesian Embassy's record in this has been patchy "

http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/singapore/story/pay-more-indonesian-maids-november



Screenshot taken from the above website

Hubby emailed me this link above to share with me the new policies on hiring Indonesian maids w.e.f. November 2012, and then he promptly said "Heng we employ early".

Currently, our helper is drawing a salary of $420 with 1 day-off per month, up from her previous contract of $360 without days-off/mth from her previous employer.
$420 is not much difference from the $450 which the clause stipulates, but bear in mind that nowadays most agencies charge $450 as starting pay for non-experienced maids.

I'm curious - Is it considered heng (lucky) to incur $800/mth ($450 salary + $170 Govt levy + misc for food/toiletries) for that extra pair of helping hands in the household?

Here are what a couple of my Mummy friends think:

It may be hard to believe, seeing as what a sybarite I am, but on average, my monthly credit card bills hardly exceed $500 and my hp bill is only $70/mth ($50 subscription + $10 iPad tag-on SIM-card + caller ID). Therefore, I don't even spend $800 on my bills, but I spend this amount on my helper every month.

Even if I engage my Part-time helper to come in twice weekly, it will only be half the amount every month. Moreover, I do not have to worry about feeding and clothing her, her getting pregnant, contracting STDs from casual sex on her days-off, lack of privacy in the house, and attitude or behavioral issues and the like.

More importantly, it appears to be a steep uphill task for Singaporean couples who want to start families. Obviously, a child will need taking care of for at least 10 years.
For many Singaporean parents, the task of caregiver is often on domestic helpers.

Do you think you will continue employing maids if their salaries increase significantly?
For those considering starting families, will you delay or even stop having children?

Hubby goes on TV!

My dearest Husband is on TV. The program is the Chinese 前线追踪 (Frontline), which is aired every Friday night 10:30PM or re-telecast on Tuesdays 1:30PM.

This is the video which I recorded on my iPad. Hubs and our estate's football club are featured at around 3:30 minutes.

Some screenshots:

In case you are wondering, in summary, the feature is about promoting sports and racial harmony in Singapore.

Hubby plays with these uncles (yes, my Hub is an uncle) every Sunday for some exercise and good clean fun, but who knows they will get an accidental shot to "stardom" ?
What a comical thought, heh.

Thanks for letting me share and hope you enjoy the weekend that is coming up soon!
One more week to the end of my confinement and I'm free to get out of the house =)

(More) Baby Ashton

Our special delivery: a gift from God.

a contented baby in luxury sheets

So... I've been sucked into a brutal routine of feeding, pumping, burping and diapering.
Fussing over this tiny baby, crooning him to sleep, relishing in his faint milky scent.
I nearly forgot how it feels like to have a newborn.
Thank you Ashton, for enabling me to fall head over heels all over again.
Throughout the span of my pregnancy, I often wondered how I could love another child as much as I love Adam. How am I going to share a love so profound when Adam has already occupied every molecule of my heart?
The moment I lay my eyes on you, I knew that the capacity of a Mother's heart knows no boundaries.

So do I love you both differently or equally?

Adam is rambunctious, Ashton is delicate.

Adam was a difficult baby - one who had problems keeping milk down, and had to be held upright for at least an hour everytime after a feed. If he stretched or so much as burped, milk would regurgitate out of his mouth and nose. It was scary for a first-time Mummy, and during his early days, Andy & I would just stare at him while he was sleeping just to make sure he was breathing.
I even kept a log book just to record how much milk he drank and how much he regurgitated.
I pumped hard & furious just so I could measure how much milk he consumed.
Then there was the colic. My best friends were Dentinox Anti-colic drops, Ru Yi oil and tummy binders. I always had them within reach, that was how obsessed I was.
Adam also had problems sleeping. First week of his life, he had day-night confusion and kept awake at un-Godly hours. After that was solved, we found out there was a bigger sleep problem awaiting us - nap time! There were days where he didn't nap!!
And we all know it too well - if a baby doesn't sleep, you don't sleep and not only that, you can hardly get anything done at all.
Adam was (and still is) demanding and over-indulged. Very typical of a first child. Ohh, the novelty and special feeling.

In comparison, Ashton is a much easier baby. He feeds and sleeps and poops like clockwork - predictable and oh-so-bliss. And due to Adam's presence, Ashton has to take the backseat and be contented just being part of all the Adam-ism. He also has to make do with Adam's hand-me-downs. Ashton is our last baby and I doubt we will go overboard with all those shopping and fancy gadgets again. I'm grateful and thankful that he doesn't care. And I also thank God for an easy baby, and pray for this to last.

If I said I loved my children equally, that would be both the truth and a lie.
Because in all honesty, I love them differently, but I also love them all the same.

Breastfeeding: Leaky boobs issue

Hello, Leaky boobies. Oh how I missed you.
You leak when I see my hungry baby.
You leak when I take a warm bath.
You leak when 3 hours is up.
When my baby is suckling on one boobie, you leak on the other like a tap.
I'm tempted to salvage all the liquid gold by catching the leaks with a cup, but too bad I only have a pair of hands.

Leaky boobies, although you cause me some inconvenience like wet mounts on my blouse / round the clock nursing, you are welcome to stay for as long as you wish.
My kids, they love you too.

Sunday with my boys

Is it because of my confinement, or is the weather really hot?
Anyhow, some bubbly bath is the highlight of the morning for my boys.

Are you ready to beat the heat?


I didn't teach this.

My punk baby!

I didn't think I could love any other child as much as I do Adam.
But now, I know I can.

My brood :)

Still can't quite believe that I can proudly say "my brood" now. What a surreal feeling, this Mom-of-two thing :)

I'm very proud of Adam. He has wowed me again, when I least expected it.

"What is this Mummy? Is it a doll? A puppy?"

Adam is very protective of Ashton, although he displays jealousy sometimes.
For eg. When the helper gets close to the baby, he will tell her to go away, in a very protective, authoritative way.
Last evening I was holding Ashton and telling him to wake up otherwise if he is wide awake at night I will smack his bum.
Adam heard me and he cried, telling me, "Mummy don't beat Didi." Such a sweet child!
.
.
.
By the way, our helper the clucky mother hen has been found to be a bit obsessive at the moment. She has been noticed to be staring at the baby many a time.
Not in a "icy cold murderous look" way, but just... staring.
In the mornings, I ask her to put Ashton in his rocker in the balcony to get some sun (for his jaundice), when I wake up an hour later, she is still sitting beside the rocker and doing nothing but staring at Ashton.
In the middle of the night, when Ashton cries for milk, she will wake up and ask me if she can feed the baby. This morning, she actually suggested that I let the baby sleep with her. I asked her why would I want to do that? Her reason was so that I could rest at night. I then told her that I can rest in the day if I'm tired but she has to work, so she'd better get her proper sleep at night.
She later reasoned that since I'm "not breastfeeding at night, can let her sleep with the baby". Making a bottle or two in the middle of the night doesn't mean I'm not breastfeeding at night, and what kind of audacity is that to suggest I let my baby sleep with her?


I told my MIL, Aunt LY and Hubs about it and they found it bizarre too.
My MIL told me that sometimes when we do not notice, our helper will kiss Ashton.
What???!! I told my MIL to please tell her off the next time she catches her doing that.
In my household, no kissing or sharing food with my children! They are my babies and Hubs & I kiss them all the time, the thought that we could have been unknowingly ingesting her saliva makes me want to throw up!!

My Aunt asked if it's because she misses her son and is therefore treating my baby this way?
Am I being over-sensitive? Or is my helper going overboard in her displays of affection to my children?

My head might explode.

Ashton Tan Tian Yang says Hi to all

24 August 2012
This is the day I was scheduled for my Elective Csect because I'm 2 days away from my EDD (26 Aug 2012) and still no signs of Ashton coming out.
I had to be admitted to Mt Alvernia Hosp by 5.30AM because my op was listed early: 7.30AM.

On 23rd August night, I couldn't sleep a wink. I was just too nervous. I waited and watched the clock. Hours passed, still no signs of labour. I'm gonna be "cut up" again like last time. I drifted slowly into Dreamland.
24 Aug 2012, 4.00AM: I woke up to the alarm after just 2 hours of sleep. Oh no... D-day is here. I woke Hubby up, we picked up my hospital bag and made our way to MAH.

5.30AM: I was in the ward getting dressed in OT gown and getting my vital signs taken, and did the necessary. The nurse fleeted me with Enema and this is sooooo uncomfy, I felt like I was having the runs and sat on the royal throne for 15 min!

7.00AM: The OT staff came to wheel me off, with my excited Hubby all ready and eager to see his newborn.

The squirmy newborn is out!

Ashton says Hello Daddy.

By the 1st day of posting up his photo on my FB page, Ashton has garnered 65 Likes and 62 comments!

My cousin and my niece visiting.

My Mum is a proud Grandma once more.

A familiar routine which was once a distant memory has re-entered my life.

My brood. Adam is happily painting after he came home from school and a blissful Ashton in Lalaland.



On the Hospital stay:
Armed with my experience 3 yrs ago, this time I'm taking things really slowly. I didn't ask for Ashton to room in, instead, I had him sent back to the nursery and the nurses and Lactation consultant were the ones who kept wheeling him back to my room and urging me to breastfeed.
Hahahah this is because once you've been there, done that, you will know the hospital stay is probably your best vacation in a long long while, compared to what's waiting for you at home.
Sure, there's no place like home. But at the hospital, you get 24/7 nursing care, you get food served to you and all your needs attended to.
Best of all, I asked Hubby not to lodge with me so I could for the first time in 9 mths, sleep peacefully, alone. No snoring. No night-wakes to soothe nightmares/thunder scares.
It was just pure bliss.
On my first night home, I told Andy that I wish to extend my hospital stay for another week and I don't want to be hooked on the breast-pump and a latching baby all the time. To which, he promptly replied, "Sure. Then pay me back for the AVENT Electric Pump which I bought you".

On confinement and the new addition:
I have Dwi and my MIL helping me out so all I do is eat, sleep, nurse. Repeat 500 times.
In the day, after Hubby has left for work and the baby is sleeping, I feel so quiet and alone. Of course I'm not entirely alone, but I wonder how I still feel so lonely. Maybe this whole Mom of Two business hasn't really sank in yet and everything feels so surreal.
I also haven't bathed and washed my hair in 4 days. I wonder how long I can hold out.
And also, peeing and pooing the first week of your C-sect can kill you. I actually teared when I sat in the toilet pooing the first time.

Meanwhile, my MIL and Dwi have transformed into clucky Mother hens who keep hovering around Ashton and cooing, talking, tongue-clicking to him. With Adam, I was the possessive mother, insisting on doing all the baby care myself and religiously pumped, latched, washed, sterilised etc. Now, I'm just totally laid back and enjoying my confinement because this is my last confinement, no matter what Andy thinks, and I'd better make the best out of it.

On Big Brother Adam:
How shall I put it? Hmm. Adam is suffering from the typical First Child Syndrome.
He is demanding and attention-seeking and wants to be in the limelight all the time.
He gets upset if we are not quick to notice his little achievements and triumphs. Boy he just takes up so much of my energy.
He is also sometimes jealous of Ashton. When Ashton is sleeping on the sofa, he wants to sit in the exact spot, so we move Ashton to the rocker. Once his bum hits the rocker, First Child reacts by jumping up and racing to the rocker as well.
With my Csect wound, I cannot carry Adam and he seems upset about it, no matter how many times I've showed him my wound dressing.
Still, I can cuddle him when I'm sitting on my bed and him standing at the edge, and that familiar body-to-body contact feels great. I do miss my tyrant First Child.
We've been totally tolerant and understanding of his jealousy to Ashton. After all, how can we expect him to love somebody he doesn't even know?
Adam, we still love you even if you think otherwise. Even if you are a PITA sometimes.
Yes, Daddy, Mummy and the whole village who's raising you at some point or other loves you.

One of Murphy's Laws of Parenting

One of Murphy's laws of Parenting:
The day your helper is off is when your child decides to throw up all over himself, and the back of the car.

Dwi had the day-off on Hari Raya.
Thus for the first time in 2 months, we were back at those "helpless" times.
Had to do all the bending/ picking/ keeping/ cleaning/ washing all over again.
Luckily it was soon time to get out of the house for lunch and Andy's haircut.

By 6pm, I hadn't rested all day (being close to 40-weeks pregnant), and Adam & I had walked loads. From Wisma to Taka Kinokuniya where he sat down to read books. When books lost their appeal, we headed to Taka's Craziest Toy Sale then back to Wisma again with all the shopping bags (I was alone with Adam cos Andy went for his haircut).
On the way home, he threw up and I had to clean up puke in the car (with help of Andy), and clean up after the toddler.
As if that's not enough, when it was bath time, Adam decided to spray jets of water all over the floor (outside the bathroom, no less) creating a mini flood (ponding) in the walkway down the hall.
Even more cleaning.

So how did I handle the situation ?
Extremely well, I should say.
I screamed at him at the top of my lungs till my voice was hoarse and blood shot to my temples. I then hosed him down mercilessly to quickly get bath-time over and didnt care if shampoo or water got into his eyes. As a result, I had a toddler crying hysterically and a husband who was extremely quiet.
Andy graciously took over the scary duty of child-minding so I could go hide and smoke some weed.
At night the good husband rubbed moisturizer on my tired aching feet.

Granted, Adam was rather well-behaved today. He held onto my hand throughout the whole Toy sale & waited patiently at the crazy queue for payment.



It was totally wrong of me to snap at him. I later kissed him & we were friends again (he let me play with his Thomas train set).


Good lordy, being a Mummy is the toughest job in the whole wide world.

Adam's first fishing experience

It was the beginning of a long weekend (Hair Raya) so on Saturday we brought our little munchkin to Angler's Paradise in Punggol and let Adam do some longkang fishing while Andy and his friend Raymond fished in the real pond.

After an hour of catching longkang fish, Adam decided to join Andy at the big pond.
My son is taking after my husband in more ways than I can imagine.
Whether I like it or not, I now have a miniature version of my annoying Husband running around.




Like father, like son.

Uncle Raymond (Daddy's friend)

We are gonna give these fishes a new home! Adam caught about 5 or 6, the rest were caught by our helper Dwi.
(I hope Adam doesn't start asking for more pets for the next 5 yrs at least, because I suspect I'm gonna be the one to do everything from procurement to disposal of the dead bodies.
As it is now, the household inventory is at [soon-to-be] 2 kids, 1 dog and 12 kois. It should be sufficient for a long long time.)

At first when we were handed this small tank and net, I was thinking, it's Ok, the waddling pond is too big and fishes swim too quickly. If we don't get any catch we will just buy him a terrapin instead so as not to disappoint the poor kid on his 1st fishing experience.
But by the time the hour is up, we caught so many! Ok, credit goes to our helper for her agile kampong skills and also to Adam for his perserverance which resulted in catching a few fishes himself :)
Me? I cheered him along the side of the pond like a very sexy (39-weeks pregnant) cheerleader, clapping and Yay-ing! and the occasional jumping.
Andy and Raymond? Zero catches for the day. I told Andy we should do prawning next time.

Adam wins his Daddy hands-down!


UPDATES ON THE BUN IN MY OVEN
I'm 39-weeks now. but nothing is happening on the labour forefront.
Went for my weekly checkup and everything seemed fine. Just. No. Action.
The only exciting thing happening all week was when I felt a bad cramp which resulted in a (big) bowel movement.

Since I cannot be induced due to my previous C-sect, we have scheduled for another C-sect, for next week. I'll be 40-weeks by then and my baby still doesn't wanna come out!
Adam was straight-forward. At his own preferred timing, my waters broke, he was breech, I had to have an Emergency Csect. That was it.

No wonder they say every pregnancy and each child is different. I couldn't agree more.