exhausted

I've resumed my schedule of work, school, home, work school home again.
Very tough to function on little sleep. ZZzzzz...
By the time I reach home, if Kai is still awake and active, I feel lousy and wish that he could quickly go to bed so we can all catch some rest.
If I reach home and he's already asleep, I feel guilty that I don't get to be the last person he sees before he sleeps and the next day I leave for work before dawn.
What a weird emotion.

I love the sourish baby smell he emits. Kinda like a mix of his sweat from all his activity, plus some ru yi oil, plus some milk scent.
It's uniquely him. His signature smell. If only I could wear his smell to work like a perfume.
I miss and love him so much, my heart hurts. I don't even know how to go about describing this feeling - I guess one knows only once one becomes a parent.
Being a parent, a full-time working and part-time schooling one at that, is no easy feat.
I wish time can fast forward to Dec so I can start evaluating the course of my future - it's high time for me to move on from my current job.

It was a miracle that I passed my exam and survived the last semester in school.
Maybe tomorrow I shall go out and buy something nice for myself as a reward :)