Overcome with sadness

I'll be going back to the workforce in Oct.
Yes. That's right. 5 months of leave would have gone, just like that. In a flash.
What's 5 months compared to a lifetime of growing up with my baby, watching him develop and being there to witness his milestones?

I feel so sad as I'm typing this. As I imagine waking up in the wee hours of the morning, leaving my sleeping angel for work, I feel overcome with sadness. This reluctance is enough to make me cry.
In Andy's and my opinion, I am the best person to bring up our baby.
We have our own ideals in bringing up Baby Adam. Our own folks may not agree with our way, but it is nonetheless, our way.
For eg:
- No TV for Baby Adam. He is too young to understand anyway. But because his rocker is in the living room, he is "forced" to watch TV with the adults. I cant change this unless Im at home to stop the adults from overdoing it.

- We decide to wean him when he is 5mths old. Not too early, not too late. When that happens, he will only get baby-specific food. That means, no keropok crumbs, chewed-up noodles, kuey teow tng or anything that sort! I've already warned my parents about this. Andy's mum told me she fed KFC whipped potato to Andy and his brother when they were weaning. Yikes!
If she feeds KFC whipped potato to my son, esp when Im at work, you can be darn sure I will SCOLD her profanities till she turns upside down and never let her feed Adam again.

- Both Andy & I need to be congruent in disciplining Baby Adam. We need to let the Grandparents know that they shouldnt interfere in our way of upbringing, esp not in front of Adam and giving our son mixed messages.

- Most importantly, Andy's mum needs to do housework so I doubt she can give our baby the quality time like teaching him Flashcards and letting him learn through play.

Well, more to worry about in due course..

Meanwhile, my bosses have been kind to let me be on long leave. From my pregnancy till now, I've been away from work for 7 months!
I've not quit my job yet. Andy and I decided that I should at least try going back to work.
If I change my mind, if things dont work out, or if his mum cannot handle all the housework and the baby, then I can quit my job and become a SAHM, for good.

I seriously wonder how those Yummy Mums in Harpers Bazaar Baby magazine do it!
How do they go from boardroom to home with 2,3 kids and still manage everything so well?!
They must have hired Super Nannies or Power Maids.


In the meantime, I will treasure the last full month I have with Baby Adam till I go back to work!